Willy's Wonderland

It was difficult for me to pick a quote for this week’s recommended movie. This isn’t because it’s lacking in great moments, but because the protagonist doesn’t say a single line in the film. Is he mute? Is he just too cool for words? We don’t know and we don’t need to know, because this week’s recommendation is Willy’s Wonderland, and it’s not that sort of movie. This isn’t egghead horror where you need to watch the film three times, spend a week in the pondering chamber and consult a shaman on a deep web forum in order to understand the surface plot. This is a hella balls-to-the-fucking-wall awesome movie where Nicholas Cage beats the crap out of knock-off Five Nights at Freddy’s animatronics.



The movie follows The Janitor (Nick Cage), an unnamed silent man whose tires get spiked while driving through the desolate town of Hayesville, Nevada. Without any other way to pay, he agrees to do a night shift cleaning up Willy’s Wonderland— an old entertainment centre restaurant—in exchange for repairs. The owner, Tex Macadoo, claims that he intends to get Willy’s up and running again. In its heyday, the restaurant was a popular Chuck-e-cheese style attraction, complete with an animatronic band headed by Willy the Weasel. You probably know where this is going by now: the animatronics are possessed and out for blood. The part that you’d be less likely to see coming (if I hadn’t spoiled it in the first paragraph) is that the janitor isn’t just a victim, running and hiding to survive the night; he fights back. Hard. The proceeding amount of human-on-animatronic violence is at a level more awesome than any other movie I’ve seen. Fists and elbows are thrown, faces are plungered, curbs are stomped, bodies are slammed against walls, animatronics are smashed into mirrors and gorillas are greeted—and all that’s just in one scene.



At the same time all this is happening, the local sherif’s teenage daughter is trying to put a stop to Willy’s gang with her friends. Her band of rebels fill all of the roles and stereotypes that you’d normally see in a slasher movie. More importantly, they provide a pool of victims so that we get to see plenty of animatronic-on-human violence as well.



A lot of the comedy in the film comes from the Janitor’s reactions to his situation (or lack thereof). Whilst most people in his situation would be focused on survival, his priority still seems to be cleaning the place. It’s as if he sees the animatronics as a threat to his productivity than a threat to his life. He agreed to do a job, and he’s going to do it. He also takes his scheduled breaks, regardless of the situation, indulging his Punch soda habit and fascination with an old Willy’s pinball machine.



I would only consider it acceptable to skip this movie is if you have a severe fun allergy, and even so, I’d still suggest you grab an EpiPen and ride it out.